Kim and I were married on this date a lifetime ago. 8/8 so easy to remember. A month before Kim’s birthday which is three weeks before mine.
It was one of my favorite times with my brother and sister. We finished getting dressed for the wedding in one of their hotel rooms and then walked over to the hall. Kim missed most of the music she had selected. Herb on the flute and Jay on the guitar playing songs that included Van Morrison’s “Moondance”. I walked upstairs to watch Al play the organ while Sandy turned the pages. Later Jill sang, a bag piper played, Debra sang accompanied by Robert. Kim’s grandfather sang after the toasts and Richard dj’ed.
Al Jarreau sings “Blessed be the promise taken today – sunshine and May wine streaming.”
I remember hearing that a man gets married hoping his wife will never change and a woman gets married hoping her husband will start changing right away. I still look at Kim and see the woman who walked down the aisle to join me that day. I’ve changed less than she’s wanted and she’s changed more than I anticipated.
She doesn’t like being the person she is now – the mother of a dead child. She loves every other part of her life but “forever” has taken on a new dimension for her now. She says “I don’t want to be ‘this person’ any more.” And I understand. No one understands more. I am that same person.
“I do. I wanna watch over you. Yes.”
A wedding is where two people make a public declaration of their love for each other and their commitment to each other. I am so fortunate to have found a woman who meant what she said that day.
A marriage isn’t easy. There are days that love sees you through and days that commitment sees you through. Then there are so many days that pass by that don’t need to be gotten through.
“I do. I wanna give you the key to me.”
Kim and I don’t give each other many gifts for formal occasions. She’ll often call and ask, “you didn’t get me anything did you?” She’s relieved when I say, “no”. What is there to give? Just the same promises I made thirteen years ago. Just a pause to think about them and nod and smile because I still mean what I say.
Love and commitment.
I don’t know how long it will be until we have a happy anniversary, but I am glad to mark another year with this woman who was a friend before we married and who remains my closest friend so many years later.
This year it is very different. This is our first year celebrating our wedding anniversary since we became “those people”. And yet, here’s to many more.