Happy Anniversary

Kim and I were married on this date a lifetime ago. 8/8 so easy to remember. A month before Kim’s birthday which is three weeks before mine.

It was one of my favorite times with my brother and sister. We finished getting dressed for the wedding in one of their hotel rooms and then walked over to the hall. Kim missed most of the music she had selected. Herb on the flute and Jay on the guitar playing songs that included Van Morrison’s “Moondance”. I walked upstairs to watch Al play the organ while Sandy turned the pages. Later Jill sang, a bag piper played, Debra sang accompanied by Robert. Kim’s grandfather sang after the toasts and Richard dj’ed.

Al Jarreau sings “Blessed be the promise taken today – sunshine and May wine streaming.”

I remember hearing that a man gets married hoping his wife will never change and a woman gets married hoping her husband will start changing right away. I still look at Kim and see the woman who walked down the aisle to join me that day. I’ve changed less than she’s wanted and she’s changed more than I anticipated.

She doesn’t like being the person she is now – the mother of a dead child. She loves every other part of her life but “forever” has taken on a new dimension for her now. She says “I don’t want to be ‘this person’ any more.” And I understand. No one understands more. I am that same person.

“I do. I wanna watch over you. Yes.”

A wedding is where two people make a public declaration of their love for each other and their commitment to each other. I am so fortunate to have found a woman who meant what she said that day.

A marriage isn’t easy. There are days that love sees you through and days that commitment sees you through. Then there are so many days that pass by that don’t need to be gotten through.

“I do. I wanna give you the key to me.”

Kim and I don’t give each other many gifts for formal occasions. She’ll often call and ask, “you didn’t get me anything did you?” She’s relieved when I say, “no”. What is there to give? Just the same promises I made thirteen years ago. Just a pause to think about them and nod and smile because I still mean what I say.

Love and commitment.

I don’t know how long it will be until we have a happy anniversary, but I am glad to mark another year with this woman who was a friend before we married and who remains my closest friend so many years later.

This year it is very different. This is our first year celebrating our wedding anniversary since we became “those people”. And yet, here’s to many more.

Published in: on August 8, 2006 at 11:29 pm  Comments (9)  

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9 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Happy Anniversary!

  2. Happy Anniversary to a wonderful couple! Love to you all and looking forward to seeing you again soon.

    Love, Barbara

  3. Happy Anniversary! So good to see your posts again, they have helped more people than you will ever know. My prayers continue for you and your family!

  4. Congrats! Jerry and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary on the 7th. Two years has seemed like we were always together, and yet I think we both know that we don’t know anything yet! We’re still young and figuring out how this all works. I am quite thankful for the person I married. You and I have both been blessed.

    Here’s to you and Kim!

    Ciao
    Gretchen

  5. Wishing you and Kim all the best on your anniversary!

  6. If you cannot have a happy anniversary, I hope you will at least have a blessed one.

    You are blessed to be together, blessed to have Maggie, blessed to have had Elena, blessed to share the future together, whatever it may hold.

  7. Happy Anniversary!

    Gee and I believed that the real key to our marriage succeeding was that we loved each other unconditionally, and each of us was willing to do 100% of the work needed to keep our relationship perfect… so that even on the bad days, where neither of use did all that we wanted, the relationship was still kept.

    Unconditional love and complete committment are the best gift you can give the person you love and share your life with.

  8. Happy anniversary to you both. Some good things are forever, too.

  9. Can I use this quote:
    “A marriage isn’t easy. There are days that love sees you through and days that commitment sees you through. Then there are so many days that pass by that don’t need to be gotten through.”
    ~ I want to use it when I’m teaching my children about marriage. Sometimes, I think the reality of marriage is lost.

    Thanks for considering it.
    -d

    -d


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