Kim knows that often subtlety is lost on me. She’ll say, “we need to go to the store for some milk.” She’ll see the blank look on my face and she’ll clarify by saying “that’s the you part of we.”
Somehow over the thirteen plus years we divided up a lot of tasks that way. One of the tasks that has always been Kim’s was when we need to send out holiday cards. This year we won’t be sending one out. We appreciate the cards we are receiving and hope that you won’t cross us off of your list next year.
It’s become clear from some of the cards we’ve received that many people don’t know about Elena. There are also those who know who take a moment to let us know they know how hard this time of year must be.
In between are the people who know and don’t say anything. We know they know because they address their cards to me, Kim, and Maggie. It’s odd but for some the silence feels o.k.. We know they get it. Or their card is a newsletter that recaps their past year. Or their card is a picture of their kids tucked inside. We love getting those.
For others it seems as if something is missing. There’s a personal note tucked inside that isn’t personal. Most years we read this note that could be written to anyone and move on. This year it feels jarring.
I suppose that’s part of the reason we can’t write Christmas cards this year. That’s the Kim part of we. They would either be way to personal or not personal enough to send. In either case, the emotional toll for sending them would be too great.