A trickle

It’s weird. For the last few months we’ve had good days and bad days but we’ve seemed to have more of the good. As the anniversary of Elena’s death approaches the days are getting harder for me. After a couple of months where I only cried when there was a clear trigger, I find myself misting up for no obvious reasons.

No school today for Maggie because of Presidents’ Day. We had to drop by and see the proofs of Elena’s headstone and sign off on them. Both Monica and Michelle were there this time.

They did a beautiful job. It reflects as much of Elena as we could fit on a rock. We had Maggie check that everything was spelled correctly and signed the form. They had printed out a second copy for us so that we could show our family and friends on Thursday when they come to the house.

I dropped Kim and Maggie at Kim’s parents’ house and Elena and I went to pick up some Chinese takeout. I’ve decided to bring her with me whenever I can. Not in a creepy or an unhealthy way. But when my thoughts turn to Elena I follow them.

I pay for the food and pick up the bags and turn back to the door. I can almost see Elena at my side gripping my hand and the bag along with it. She turns to the man at the counter with a glint in her eye and says “Xie Xie.”

“Elena,” I think to myself, “Thank you.”

Published in: on February 19, 2007 at 12:06 pm  Leave a Comment