Our Anniversary

Elena died a year ago today.

A friend and I were IMing earlier this week about getting together for lunch. He asked about Thursday and I said “I’m sorry but that’s our anniversary.”

I knew better the moment I had typed it and was clarifying when he wrote “congratulations”.

I apologized profusely. I knew he would feel bad and he shouldn’t. He had no way of knowing that that I was referring to the first anniversary of Elena’s death. I’m not sure what to call it, but I will be more careful in the future.

Thank you to the many people who have sent cards and emails and IMs this week to Kim and Maggie and me. Thank you to those of you who haven’t but have paused a moment to think of us. As always it is all felt and all appreciated.

Tonight Father Gary is saying a mass for Elena at Our Lady of Peace and then we are having family and a few others who have asked over for a little pasta.

Some of Mama’s with red sauce and some of mine with alice. We’ll roll out some pizza’s and bake them up. We’ll unveil Elena’s gravestone and we’ll light a candle.

Elena loved gatherings like this.

Homework

I’ve written more than once about the image of Elena doing her homework the night before she died. I’d like to suggest these homework assignments for you.

If you knew Elena, please think of a story about her that you can share on this blog on her birthday of March 3. I’ll post a place to do so then.

Whether or not you knew Elena, think of someone you loved who has died and write down some story about them somewhere anywhere. You don’t have to share it with anyone, but capture some memory of a parent or a child or a sibling or a friend who is no longer here.

If you are a parent, think of some story you want to capture before it disappears. The details will fade faster than you know and then your are telling a second hand or third hand story. Again, you don’t have to share it with anyone, but write it down.