Our Anniversary

Elena died a year ago today.

A friend and I were IMing earlier this week about getting together for lunch. He asked about Thursday and I said “I’m sorry but that’s our anniversary.”

I knew better the moment I had typed it and was clarifying when he wrote “congratulations”.

I apologized profusely. I knew he would feel bad and he shouldn’t. He had no way of knowing that that I was referring to the first anniversary of Elena’s death. I’m not sure what to call it, but I will be more careful in the future.

Thank you to the many people who have sent cards and emails and IMs this week to Kim and Maggie and me. Thank you to those of you who haven’t but have paused a moment to think of us. As always it is all felt and all appreciated.

Tonight Father Gary is saying a mass for Elena at Our Lady of Peace and then we are having family and a few others who have asked over for a little pasta.

Some of Mama’s with red sauce and some of mine with alice. We’ll roll out some pizza’s and bake them up. We’ll unveil Elena’s gravestone and we’ll light a candle.

Elena loved gatherings like this.

Published in: on February 22, 2007 at 2:38 pm  Comments (15)  

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15 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Even though I cannot be there today, I am thinking about all of you constantly-it’s a tough day. Love and miss you guys.

  2. Hi Daniel, Kim, and Maggie,

    You have all been in my thoughts and prayers often, especially today. I hope thoughts of Elena bring smiles and laughter when you celebrate and remember her tonight. She will always be part of your life, and she had a smile you never can forget.



  3. thinking about your family today…

  4. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Enjoy your a leech! Your beautiful writing has touched many hearts. Thank you for sharing.

  5. Thinking of you and sending love and strength your way.

  6. I’m very sad I couldn’t figure out a way to get into town and make it back for classes, but i wish i was there.. you’re family has been in my thoughts and prayers all day. It doesn’t snow too much in kent and hasn’t for the past few days, but it did today, i think it was a little bit of Elena’s spring snow 🙂

  7. Thinking of you and praying for all of you today.

  8. […] Remembering … […]

  9. Thinking of your family and friends today. Sending you love from California…

  10. Dear Daniel, Kim and Maggie,
    We are thinking of you in Rochester. Hannah told us last week she was thinking about Elena.
    …Elena touched so many hearts both old and young.

  11. There are lots of hard dates for a time, though it seems you know how to meet them. Elana made your lives richer. Many of the wonderful things, the blessings which she lavished on others, are things we all need. I learned, in my sister’s passing, the value in sharing some of it all more freely. It makes this the best possible of worlds. Love to you all.

  12. Thinking of you all.
    Peace and Love.

  13. My thoughts are with you. It had to be so hard for you at Disneyworld without Elena. I kept picturing her everywhere with the girls, our fabulous honorary Shen Sister.

  14. Happy Birthday to a blog that began as a tool to cope, even if only for yourself…

    I find enormous irony in the enormous number of people who have been profoundly affected by your thoughts, and words. It began a very small circle, perhaps. Intended perhaps only for yourself, in case it might help.

    You most profoundly influenced me in the earliest days, when you noted that as you and Kim rode home from the cemetary, and saw a parent with a child, and said you would never be saddened by a parent being “present” with their child. To me, that is the most concerned type of soul that exists, and one that I strive to maintain in my own life, partly due to your example.

    Furthermore, the number of “moments” that you have caused people, parents, friends and families to “capture”…freeze in the moment and just CAPTURE. Be present.

    Your “circles” are vast and magnificent, Daniel. Your Circle of Influence and your Circle of Concern. They have changed lives. Elena continues to give, though you, and with you.

    And I thank you for that. Every day.

    Happy Birthday to a beautiful blog,


  15. I found this blog by accident – by googling my own 5-year-old daughter’s name: Elena. Your writing is profound and fresh; I hope someday you publish a book to share your voice more widely. And when my daughter (also adopted like your Maggie) comes in the door later today, she will wonder at my tight, tight hold on her. Thank-you for sharing your hope and sadness.

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