Kim went down to the operating room at 505 this morning.

Well, that’s not right. I try not to use the passive voice but it would be more correct to say Kim was taken down to the operating room at 505 this morning.

It’s not like she put on scrubs and headed in to work.

Then again, if she was headed in to work it wouldn’t have been at 505.

Annabelle, our lab – german shorthair mix – always got Kim up by 6. Annabelle never woke me up, she always nudged Kim when she needed to go outside. There were some mornings that Annabelle got Kim up several times: at 1, at 3, and finally at 6. But she always got her up at 6.

Annabelle never woke me up but I always knew when Kim took her outside at 1 or 3 because when they came back upstairs Kim would yell at Annabelle “now you lay still.”

I think that was for my benefit not the dog’s.

Kim never came back upstairs after the 6 am waking from the dog. Around 7 she’d make coffee. I’d smell the coffee and come downstairs. She’d take the grounds and put them in a container under the sink. When the container was full, she take it outside and mix it with the dirt around the flowers.

She’d pour my coffee and we’d hear a thump at the door as Annabelle threw herself  repeatedly against the screen.

“Your girlfriend’s waiting for you,” Kim would say.

So I’d take my laptop outside and drink my coffee and work while Annabelle ran around the back yard.

I’d come in when the coffee was done to grab a glass of water.

“What are you doing?” I’d ask.


“Paying bills.”

Some days it was bills, some days it was laundry. Some days it was cutting fruit.

“Don’t you need to get to work?”

“I’m going.”

But she wasn’t. Some time around 9 or 930 she’d start putting on her shoes.

“When are you coming home?” I’d ask.

“I don’t know. I have two evals at Bedford and a modified at South Pointe.”

“Let me know.”

“OK, I’ll text you.”

She’d get her shoes out of the back room and sit in the chair in the kitchen and put them on. She’d drink a little more of her coffee.

Finally, she’d leave for work.

Later in the afternoon I’d text her from a coffee shop. “I’m at Juma. Want to meet here when you’re done.”

“I have to stop at the post office,” she’d say, “I’ll see you at home.”

“When?” I’d ask.

“I’ll text you.”

This morning Annabelle started retching at about 645.

I got up quickly to let her outside.

She threw up a little bit in the hall upstairs before making it outside. I cleaned it up. Put it in a bag and tossed it outside into the driveway so Annabelle couldn’t get into it again.

I have to be honest. If Kim was here I would have pretended to be asleep until she let the dog out and cleaned up the vomit.

And to get me back, Kim would have let the dog jump back on the bed after vomiting and lick me in the face.

I suppose it was only fair.

Kim was taken down to the O R at 505. Annabelle was vomiting at 645.

Kim died at 7.

My best friend has gone home. She won’t be coming back.

Published in: on August 23, 2016 at 9:47 am  Comments (18)  

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  1. Praying

  2. I’m so sorry, Daniel.

  3. I am so very sorry for your loss! I can not even begin to imagine what you have endured over the last several days!! I am a patient of Diane Koski’s and started reading the blog when she called out for prayers over Kim’s accident! I am amazed at the stength in your words all the way back to lossing your sweet little girl! My God hold you and Maggie close to him as you prepare for yet another grief journey! Please know that prayers and good thoughts are coming from Atlanta for you and your family!!! God Bless!!

  4. Heartbreaking. I am so very sorry Daniel.

  5. Dan, my heart aches for you and Maggie. I’m confident that Kim is at peace now with Elena. I pray for strength for you and Maggie in this awful time and for future peace and joy for you both. My deepest sympathy to you, Maggie and all your families. Bill

  6. I am so sorry for your loss. You are all in my prayers.

  7. Arriving here from Twitter, I had no idea where this story was going, and I smiled several times as I followed your day and dialogues. There’s such a deep connection there, and I can’t imagine the loss you must feel. I think of you often, and one of the main images in my mind is the photo I took of you, Maggie, and Kim smiling up from the table in a restaurant. Thank you for sharing, Daniel. I hope life brings you more smiles soon.

  8. Daniel, your posts to Kim are lovely and yet so heartbreaking. I only met her once at the 25th OHS reunion but I’ve heard about her often from Laurie and about your fun times the four of you had. Rick and she loves you all so much.

    Your bravery, strength and love are expressed so beautifully in your comments. Kim will be missed but you keep her alive with your words. You are blessed my friend and you are loved. Lori

  9. Found you through a link on Facebook. I don’t know you, but I am a sister through Christ. I am without words – Your courage and strength in this time of immense sorrow is unbelievable. Know that you have prayers coming from Washington DC – and that you have my deepest sympathizes and prayers for the journey ahead.

  10. Daniel- I just heard, and I’m so sorry. Your words are so incredible to read. My heart hurts- Kim was one of the most influential people in my life, both professionally and personally. I can’t begin to describe how profoundly sad I feel. Sending love to you and Maggie.

  11. Daniel – I am so sorry for the loss of your wife, your best friend. I hope it is some comfort that you have a huge community of family, friends, and others that you have touched in your life who share a part of your pain and offer their prayers, their support and their even their tears. You and Maggie have my heartfelt sympathy and prayers.

  12. I just got to know you… and this is heartbreaking. My mother, the only person I had ever in my life, died at 7.

  13. Daniel, you don’t know me, but I have been following you on Twitter and literally soaked up your brilliant dev talks. Reading the news the other day broke my heart. I can’t find any words for telling you how sorry I am. All I can do is share this song… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0v4XTpHKU4

  14. I am one of the speech therapists that did Kim’s modifieds. I have known her for almost ten years and I cannot tell you how much I liked her and how very sorry I am for your loss. She was one of the sharpest people I knew and having her on my schedule brightened my day. She was so incredibly proud of you and Maggie, she talked about you both every time I saw her. I will miss our discussions, her smile, and her wit and sarcasm so much. Prayers for peace for you.

  15. Dear Daniel, I am so deeply sad that this has happened to you and Maggie and your family.
    Your posts are such a gift to me, to help me see how important and precious all the little moments are. Thank you for having the words and the drive to continue this blog. I have wept over the poignancy of every post for 10 years.
    I am sending you much love and gratitude.

  16. I have sporadically read your blog for years – I forget how I came across it. For no particular reason, I checked it today after not looking for several months. I am so sorry to hear that this has happened to you and your family.

  17. My Nephew, Trevor , sent your blog to me and I have been keeping you in prayer. May God continue to hold you in His loving arms while you endure this hour of bereavement.
    Psalm 46:1 – God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in times of trouble.
    Your blogs are being a help to others who have endured such pain and loss.
    Prayers are with you;

  18. Daniel, I’ve followed you off and on as a fellow Cocoa developer for years. Last year I spent some time reading this blog. I just caught a Twitter reference about Kim and wanted to reach out and tell you another unknown friend is wishing you and your daughter well. I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to endure.

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