Not Kim’s Fault

You should have seen the Browns today Kimmy.

They looked awful.

I know you used to think that somehow you jinxed them – that they played worse when you were watching.

“That shouldn’t be a touchdown,” you’d yell at the screen.

“The ball broke the plane, it’s a touchdown,” I’d say.

“That’s a stupid rule,” you’d say, “I know it’s the rule but it’s a stupid rule. That shouldn’t be a touchdown.”

We’d turn the game on in the middle of the first quarter and they’d be winning and suddenly they’d do something stupid and would fall behind.

“I should just turn it off,” you’d say.

Well, honey, good news.

It wasn’t you.

They looked horrible today and you weren’t watching. We had a safety when the center centered the ball over RG III’s head out of the end zone.

What’s that?

I’m way ahead of you.

It wasn’t my fault either. I flipped on the radio after the play and heard them talk about it.

It wasn’t your fault either.

If the Browns had won big today with flawless execution, I might have listened to your quantum theory of football – that you can affect the outcome of the game by observing it.

But they didn’t.

Turns out, we’ve been following a team that hasn’t been good in a really long time.

Not your fault at all.

Published in: on September 11, 2016 at 8:38 pm  Leave a Comment  

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