I’ve been watching the shows Kim DVR’d for us – clearing off the list.
Last night I deleted all of the shows she’d recorded just for herself.
I unsubscribed from all future recordings.
Over the weekend I watched the Mens Rugby seven medal matches from the Olympics.
That left two shows.
We’d watched the first episode of the final season of Inspector Lewis together. We’d planned to watch the second episode together. The third and final episode aired while Kim lay in the hospital.
Tonight I watched episode two and then pressed “Stop and Delete”.
That leaves one more episode. I’ll watch it tomorrow night after Tai Chi.
Then the list will be empty.
The problem with death is …
Well, I almost said something stupid – the problem with death is that the person is dead.
What I meant to say was that the problem with dealing with death is that everything appears to be a metaphor. Everything feels like it represents something.
I’m just cleaning off the DVR and then I’m going to return the machine and cancel cable.
I don’t want it right now.
These shows that Kim recorded seem more important than they are.
Tomorrow night I’m going to watch the last episode of Inspector Lewis.
It aired while Kim was alive yet she’ll never see it.
We did plenty of things by ourselves or with other friends without the other one there.
This feels different. Small as it is, silly as it seems, we watched the episodes of this show together.
I couldn’t start Mystery until she was in the room. She loved Alan Cummings narration. She would stay after the closing scenes to hear his voice again.
When the sponsor credits ran before the episode she would always say “and schlubs like you” when Alan stopped narrating the names that appeared on the screen.
Tomorrow night I will watch the final episode of Inspector Lewis.
I will smile and say “schlubs like you.”
I will have to stay awake for the whole episode.
Usually I would fall asleep half way into the episode and wake up and ask Kim what I’d missed.
Tomorrow night I will watch one more episode and then I’ll clear off the DVR.
It doesn’t need to be a metaphor. Does it?