About once a month I power up Kim’s iPad and clear her email.
I’m not being nosy. I’m just looking for commitments she might have made where the other person needs to know.
The only time I looked around her contacts was when I needed to contact people to let them know she was in the hospital. I didn’t have contact info for her childhood friends but knew they would be on her iPad.
I read through some of her texts a while back. Half of the texts she sent were details about meeting someone for coffee, for dinner, or for work.
The other half of her texts were just nice thoughts and encouragement from her. “Thinking of you honey”s. Letting people know she was thinking of them on their birthday or on an anniversary of losing someone or just because.
Most of her email is spam but every once in a while there’s a note from someone who doesn’t know about the accident yet or from a professional organization reminding her to renew.
I answer them from my own email account. It would be too creepy to get something from hers.
One email was from one of her friends who recently posted something about her on Facebook. I sent the link to myself and tried to open the page from my account but it was restricted to friends. I deleted the link. I couldn’t really post something from Kim’s account and it felt intrusive to send something from mine.
Kim also gets regular updates from “Note to Self”. She and I did their “Infomagical” week together this summer to cut down on our distractions and focus on what is important.
I’m going to re-listen to the Infomagical episodes and try to remove this overload of non-helpful information from my life.
I get tons of email every day and usually answer it within a day. Lately I’ve gotten worse about this but the last couple of days I’ve cleared out my Inbox so that it’s empty again.
But do I need to stay on top of it?
Kim’s been dead for four months and almost nothing in her Inbox is important.
I worked in a restaurant where we didn’t have the soup of the day like other restaurants. We had the soup of yesterday.
A bit pretentious, but everyone knows that soup tastes better the next day. Why not serve it then?
And what about email?
What if I never read email I received today? What if each day I took care of the email that was two days old. Most immediate crises would have been revealed to have been not that important.
Maybe I would have fewer bits of email that don’t really matter to anyone.
Maybe I would send email that has a longer shelf life.
Maybe more of my email, sent and received, would be “Thank you honey”s.