Kim was pro-choice and her choice was “no”.

That seems to confuse some people. Pro-choice does not mean pro-abortion, it means you believe in a woman’s right to choose. Kim’s choice was “no”.

I know this because we talked about it when she was pregnant with Elena.

Not explicitly.

We were considering which pre-natal tests to take and I asked her what she wanted to do if the test came out positive for one of these conditions.

Kim said she would come to term anyway so we decided not to have one of the tests because there were risks associated with that particular test.

But Kim was strongly pro-choice. She believed in her right to a choice and she believed in and respected other women having a choice and coming to a different conclusion.

She’d had friends who had had abortions.

It was not something they had done lightly and it had stayed with them forever.

They believed it was the right choice and they believe today that it was the right choice – but it was not an easy one.

Friends asked me how I felt about Kim’s decision. After all, they reasoned, you would now be responsible for a child with this condition for the rest of your life. This is a decision that has a great impact on your life. Don’t you get a say?

A say?


I am pro-choice. I believe in a woman’s right to choose. The choice was Kim’s to make.

If I felt strongly, I might have suggested things she might want to consider.

But this is Kim we’re talking about.

There’s nothing I could suggest that she hadn’t already considered.

So the decision is Kim’s and my job is to support her in that decision. My job is to hear her decision and say, “then that’s what we’ll do.”

We reduce the stance to “pro-choice” and sometimes forget to widen our view a little to the positioning statement, “a woman’s right to choose.”

Even though Kim’s choice was “no”, she’d be outraged that we are currently facing the prospect that we may soon live in a country where the choice wouldn’t have been hers to make.

Published in: on July 15, 2018 at 8:24 am  Leave a Comment