When Kim and I were preparing to get married we met separately with a priest and a rabbi.

The rabbi asked how we would handle the difficulties in our life.

Kim said she would talk to friends and maybe go for therapy.

I said, I would talk to friends, read books, and probably write.

We thought he was talking about ordinary difficulties.

You know, the problems that married couples go through.

Money. Time. Arguments. The waning and waxing of love and affection. Kids acting up or not doing well in school.

We had no idea.

Thirteen years ago today, our youngest daughter died suddenly.

I don’t know how we survived that.

I know I couldn’t have survived it without Kim.

Also, I wrote.

It helped me.

It turned out it helped others as well.

Two years later I thought I would publish some of the blog posts that I’d posted in that time and I wrote the introduction that you’ll find next.

I wasn’t ready to share it yet, though. Not in a book.

I know that’s odd as I’d already shared it as a blog – but a book felt different.

Two years may feel like a long time after a death.

Most everyone else has moved on.

I can tell you today, thirteen years after Elena died, that two years isn’t as long as you’d think.

Two and a half years ago tomorrow, Kim died.

I don’t know how I’ve survived that.

I don’t know how I possibly survived that without Kim.

A lot of it is the support I’ve gotten from friends, family, colleagues, and strangers.

Also, I wrote.

It helped me.

I’d stopped writing about Elena because it was unfair to Maggie to not be able to live her life without me writing about it.

When Kim died I wrote a little bit more,

I can truthfully say that with the exception of those two days, I’ve been lucky and life has been pretty great.


Seven years after Elena died, I published these first blog posts in an eBook but didn’t really tell anyone.

This time I’m cleaning things up a bit and publishing it both digitally and as a paperback.

Why now?

I don’t know that it matters, but on March 3, 2019, Elena would have turned twenty.


She never even turned seven.

I’m releasing the book on her twentieth birthday.

I can’t give her a gift.

I thought I’d give her as a gift to you.

Published in: on February 22, 2019 at 8:15 am  Comments (5)  

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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I have wanted you to do this for a long time. I don’t know you, but I have followed your writing from the beginning and have often thought it should be a book. I’m glad you’re doing it.

    • Thank you, Daniel. I”ve also followed this from the beginning and am looking forward to reading the book as a whole.

  2. We love you.

  3. Something made me check your blog today. Sending you lots of love! ❤

  4. Your writing has brought me so much healing. Thank you for your beautiful, incredibly moving writing. It is a gift to the world.

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