Saying goodbye

Norah Jones sings in my ears, “Summer days are gone too soon”.

So right.

“Shoot the moon and miss completely.”

I’m barely here.

One of Kim’s relatives sent me a text the other day, thinking about Kim’s last days on earth.

“Four years and 1 day since we lost Kim,” she wrote.

Too true.

It’s not that she didn’t know the exact date of Kim’s death. Four years ago tomorrow.

But the Kim I said goodbye to four years ago tonight wasn’t Kim. Not the amazing woman I’d been lucky enough to be married to for two dozen years.

“I know her actual anniversary isn’t for a couple of days,” the text continued, “but the Kim as we all knew her was gone.”

Norah sings , “now you’re left to face the gloom – the empty room that once smelled sweetly.”

I reach over and put my hand on Kim one last time.

Knowing it will be the last time.

I’ve spent the last few days in the room with her squeezing her leg and letting her know who has come to visit her.

They’ve come to see her one last time.

To say goodbye.

Then it’s my turn.

To say goodbye.

And so I put my hand on her one last time.

Knowing it will be the last time.

Published in: on August 22, 2020 at 6:34 pm  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. My heart breaks all over again. I read this crying for what you’ve lost in losing Kim and Elena. Who can count the cost? Yet you have to count it every day.

    Your beautiful words about them are burned on my heart.

    Aching for you here. Remembering them and hurting so much for your whole family.

  2. I’m a fellow SLP that knew Kim. I think of her all the time. I’ve left her as a contact in my phone because I can’t bear to delete her number. I can’t tell you how much I liked and respected her.
    ~ Caroline

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